If your marriage is lacking intimacy and you go to a psychologist for marriage counseling, you will be very disappointed. A quick look at divorce statistics will show you the reality that marriage counseling usually leads to an appointment with either a mediator or a divorce lawyer.
The “Art” of Marriage Counseling is Primitive and Dangerous
Before 1940, a person was statistically better off not going to a doctor if they suffered from any one of countless maladies. Doctors didn’t have much to work with in those days and the term “practice medicine” describes exactly what they did. In the early 20th century almost anyone could start a medical school and the resultant batch of medical doctors was pathetic. These days a medical doctor is highly trained and very well educated. They come out of medical school knowing many cures for many diseases, all of which are based on extensive scientific testing. When you visit a doctor, your symptoms are diagnosed and you are given specific cures as well as extensive information regarding whatever disease you may have.
Although not yet perfect, the modern medical community is relatively very reliable and saves millions of lives. But the guiding practices that have made modern medicine a miracle of the 21st century are nowhere to be found in the schools of western psychology. Contrarily, western psychology is primarily theoretical and draws its ranks from those who are themselves afflicted with psychological problems. Many of us have vivid memories of classmates who were attracted to the field of psychology; none were capable of the rigorous effort required to become a medical doctor.
On the other hand those who started out in the medical field as doctors and completed their studies in psychiatry almost always approached their studies clinically rather than theoretically; they are known by the M.D. following their name. I am not aware of any marriage counselors who have that extensive training nor would that kind of training be of any use to those who suffer in marriage.
The individuals who become marriage counselors are never spawned from the medical community. It is very unfortunate that the term “doctor” is commonly applied to both medical practitioners and marriage counselors because it creates the illusions that they have the same educational background, are both healers, and are both scientific in their approach.
Marriage Intimacy comes from a Simple Understanding of Deep Principles
The truth of the matter is that the field of psychology has almost no business getting involved in marital counseling. The proof of this statement is in the indisputable fact that marriage counselors suffer the same rate of divorce as everyone else; they obviously don’t know more than anyone else about marriage.
Intimacy in marriage is one of the ultimate goals married couples aspire to. Along with the goal of raising healthy children, which creates tender security, the living intimacy found in a well developed marriage brings contentment and joy. The craving for the holy goal of intimacy is common if not universal, but attainment is rare. Our culture and society has completely missed the point about intimacy and has devalued it into some sexual connotation unfitting for the true love found between soul mates.
In order to truly find love and intimacy, one must go beyond the psychological realms and dive into the spiritual heart. Love itself is spiritual by nature and cannot be cognized intellectually; it must be felt in the heart. Those who mistakenly confuse passion for intimacy experience nothing more than fleeting pleasures. But those who open their hearts and practice giving unconditional love to their soul mate find fulfillment of their grandest dreams.
Through simple and concise steps I have brought many couples the knowledge they needed to experience intimacy in marriage. I pray that you too realize your sweet dreams of marital bliss.
